Methods of Mayhem — Drunk Uncle Pete

Take your Christmas lights down you lazy bum I look across the street and i see your wreath It reminds me of my old drunk uncle Pete Take the lampshade off you're not funny Barf up some turkey from your drunk yummy tummy Try to play poker but you can't read the cards Lying cheating stealing brains working too hard Drunk uncle Pete can't stand on two feet He's whiskey he's a shot glass He's a forty ounce he's family that's right Drunk Uncle Pete can't find the door He is mumbling and a stumbling Drunk Uncle Pete Christmas in the park getting drunk after dark Fourth of July is a pause for the cause Halloween spooky day Jack Daniel's ok Valentines chocolate nice and early times St. Pats day that's ok First of June drunk again not a holiday Lost a finger lost a limb Wasn't in the war let's drink some more Drunk uncle Pete can't stand on two feet He's whiskey he's a shot glass He's a forty ounce he's family that's right 12 pack knock it back vicodin Ambien Last call alcohol hurry up drink it all Checks bouncing baby crying glasses empty liver dying Fast women cheap cologne empty bottle all alone